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There's an awesome article by Jared von Hindman on the D&D website today, poking fun at many of the stupid monsters that have appeared in D&D over the years. He's dug up some obscure creatures, many of which I haven't seen before, as well as some I have laughed at over and over again, such as this line up of beholder variants:

I particlularly love the headless human torso with the beholder face!

Also, this is probably the most ridiculous demon ever conceived, the sibriex:

Have a read of the article, then come back here – I have a confession to make. I've used a lot of these stupid monsters. In fact, last night, I used the forsaken shell of a firbolg against the Juma Gang. This was actually the second time I've used this monster - back in the days of the 3.x Freeport Campaign, I used both the forsaken shell and the bhut in the same adventure. I'm going to blame Dungeon magazine for this – they appeared in a cool adventure I ran set in the a monastery called the Winding Way and which featured a number of unusual undead, many from Libris Mortis.

I've also used the petal (annoying faeries), book swarms that inflicted deadly paper cuts on the Luminous Heroes of the Ironcrags, dabus (Jared is absolutely right about their language - luckily kb98 was never cruel enough to me to ask them that many questions when we were playing Planescape) and the ridiculous pseudo-undead from the 1e MM2. I must also confess to using the DM grudge-monster, the nilbog, at least once but in my defense (a) I was probably about 15 and (b) it was in White Dwarf's Top 10 Fiend Factory monsters.

I've never used a flail snail or a flumph though ;)

What's the stupidest monster you've used?



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 1st, 2012 12:36 pm (UTC)
If you like the torso-with-a-face, I can recommend The Monstrumologist, which deals with the Classical critter, the anthropophagus. Worth reading. & I really, really, really like the sibriex! I don't see why it is goofy. I think an alien gas-giant dwelling demon that wants to do horrible surgery to you & give you demonic grafts is great...but then, you've seen my campaign, that is how I roll.
Apr. 1st, 2012 01:30 pm (UTC)
Yes, that backstory for the sibriex is cool. It's the fact it's a giant balloon that can't go anywhere that's a bit silly.

I guess your campaign is too dark for stupid monsters?
Apr. 1st, 2012 01:46 pm (UTC)
Well I try to straight-face everything; if I had a stupid monster I would play up that it is alien & doesn't conform to humanoid expectations. Try not to make it silly. So much is context; evil ballon verus primordial torturesurgeon predating souls & minds, right?
Apr. 1st, 2012 02:29 pm (UTC)
Yep, agreed.
(no subject) - waynefurmidge - Apr. 1st, 2012 08:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 1st, 2012 08:53 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that was one of the more memorable encounters in Halls of the Mountain King!
Apr. 2nd, 2012 03:33 pm (UTC)
We had a crazy DM once who unleashed an animated camping site on us.
Apr. 2nd, 2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
Scaffolding, garden tools, smoldering logs.... All very sensible monsters, IMHO. </p>

Vegepygmies - not so much.

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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